How Being Desperate Can Cost You More Than Money
If you've ever found yourself desperate for ANYTHING, just know that desperation can lead you to make really stupid decisions. I've seen people who were desperate for work take on jobs that basically paid crap. Yes, in the end they got a little bit of money and hard work is great for the soul and all. But in the end, it rarely leads to some big amazing thing. I've seen people who were just starting out in their businesses being desperate and giving discounts when they shouldn't be. Taking on clients who were terrible ( been there, done that ) and just treating themselves poorly out of desperation.
Why does that matter? Because life IS about turning little things into BIG amazing things! You have a choice to make, so why not make one that will improve things?
Often times, when I'm counseling people on their work situation, I'll realize that their life and work mirror each other. Take the case of a young woman I work with sometimes who in her past life was abused terribly. Guess what happens in most of her jobs? She ends up with a jerkface boss who abuses her or a company that cheats her out of money constantly. When I ask her about this she'll tell me "Oh but I was desperate for work" and I'll tell her "But while you were connecting to the comfort of yet again being abused, several amazing opportunities passed you by". It's true...
Believe me, I want to ring her neck sometimes because I know she is comfortable in these bad work situations. Instead I just try to lend her an ear and trickle awesome job opportunities to her via skype as often as possible. I also helped tweak her resume so she could see all of her amazing accomplishments with the hopes of making it all click.
Another example of making poor decisions out of desperation was when I was a teenager we moved way out into the country and there were no jobs within 20 miles. I was desperate for money and I was desperate to get out of my house. My mom left for work early in the morning and I had no car. So I decided I'd find a job in town, during the day and just take a taxi whenever I needed to get to work. This made sense to me because I wanted nights off to go hang out with my friends. On one hand, I get an A for effort. On the other hand I was paying $25 a day to get to a job that paid me $35 dollars a day so it was something I probably shouldn't do long term. The problem is that often these desperate things lead to long term engagements and begin to warp your thinking skills. Soon, you'll begin to think that struggling is the norm and begin to make decisions so that your life is harder, instead of easier.
So guess what I did next? I worked and I took a taxi often, until I saved up enough money to buy a car. Can you guess how many taxi's and work days I had before I could save up enough to get a car? Way too freaking many and I was exhausted. So exhausted that I tried to get a second (working at a kids play place god help me ) and a third job (Hostess at an Italian restaurant) just to fund my first one! I bought a $500 car from my neighbor that ran amazing, then crashed that car a week later in the parking lot of a grocery store. It actually got ran over by a monster truck ( RIP Smurf Mobile ), a real live monster truck and I realize now that I was probably just really exhausted from all the going out and working 53 jobs to even be driving safely.
So I was desperate for work. I was desperate for a car. I was desperate to hang out with my friends until 4 am driving 100's of miles to go out to clubs. It was like a desperate domino affect, and it took me YEARS to break this way of thinking.
How could I have fixed this situation? I could have gotten a job close to where my mom worked (or worked with her, she ran her own business) and saved the $25 a day I paid to the taxi. I could have given her some gas money and shut my mouth for the hour long ride everyday instead of acting like a snotty teenager. I would have been less exhausted, and probably gotten to enjoy myself more. I also could have just worked nights at my job, which would have paid me more because I worked in a high end store in the shoe department where I got paid commission. The girls who worked nights made way more money than I did! Looking back I realize almost every single misstep I took in my life was due to being desperate. So how do you fix this? First, you make the decision to be strategic in your life decisions. You take the right risks, and close the right doors on your own. You remove your ego from the situation and never act before thinking.
Second, you build your self esteem. Remember, You are worthy! In fact, you are more than worthy. You've been given yet another day to exist on this big beautiful ball of dirt, so remember that you owe it to yourself to be happy. Poor self esteem is the number one reason why people make crappy decisions. So work on it and I promise that with self esteem comes confidence, and with confidence comes wisdom.
That is why no matter how desperate the predicament is, I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane, straightening my derby hat and fixing my tie, even though I have just landed on my head. Charlie Chaplin